walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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