oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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