Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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