Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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