Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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