batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
