Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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