wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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