Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
