Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
