Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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