This is not my ceiling
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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