Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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