sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
