Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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