Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
