This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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