I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He did a backflip because drugs
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