I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
