Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize