Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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