i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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