well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
