and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
