sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
