I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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