don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
