if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
