thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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