Whod you bang
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
