The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
