i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
