I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
