I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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