i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize