Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
