I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize