Do you still have your period?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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