Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
