Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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(408): View more from California

You drunk yet?

(925): View more from California

Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

(408): View more from California

Cant make any promises.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt

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(301): View more from Maryland

Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!

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