like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
