Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize