I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
