PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
