hotel room ftw
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
