Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
