if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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