Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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