I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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