The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
