Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to make out with him forever
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
