Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
