i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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