My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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