Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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