I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
